Author - Alex Neary

Deep in the heart of Transylvania next door to Dracula’s castle a huge tower loomed in the darkness. In the secret laboratory at the top a tall figure loomed over a cowering one. “Igor!” yelled the tall one.

“Yes Master!” whimpered Igor, cowering away further.

“Could you pop down to the corner shop and get me some candy?”

Igor looked up at Frankenstein, confused.

“But I thought you were working on your next experiment!”

“But I’m hungry!” whined Frankenstein.

“Well get an apple” replied Igor sternly.

“Awwwww!” whinged Frankenstein.

“Come on Frank, you’ve really got to lift your standards. You’ve been a wreck since your last experiment ended horribly.”

“Aw, come on! I created a living creature from bodies I, uh, borrowed from the graveyard! How is that bad?” Frankenstein cried.

“It went crazy with loneliness and started to hunt you down.”

“Oh, well, yes. But at least I killed the beast in the end. And quite heroically too.

“You crept up behind it, pulled its pants down and made it die of embarrassment.”

“Why must you always see the negative side of things Igor? Anyway, this time I will create something bigger, better and far more ferocious! MWA HA HA!”

Frankenstein pulled a lever and a budgerigar hopped into the room.

“Aw. Its so cute.” sighed Igor.

“Not that! This!” cried Frankenstein, holding up a plucked chicken. “I have used a surveillance drone bristling with lasers, knifes and cheap perfume hidden at the Bathurst fossil and mineral museum to steal all the materials I need. I have also cleverly disguised it so nobody will see it.”

“What is it cleverly disguised as?” queried Igor.

“A surveillance drone bristling with lasers, knifes and expensive perfume.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, strap the chicken down!”

“Yes master!”

“First I shall release its primitive genes to give it sharp teeth! Ha ha ha! Now,

blast it with uranium! Yes, yes! And now, the most final and evil touch - give it the

skull of a T-rex so it has an overly large head! MWA HA HA!”

“Um, sir?”

“What?”

“You’ve created a mutant chicken with sharp teeth and a head ten times the size of its body.”

“I know! It’s brilliant!”

The chicken woke up, stumbled over to the window, tried to fly out and dropped like a stone twenty stories. Next door Buffy ran out of the huge doors carrying a bloodied stake.

“Dracula down, a couple more hundred to go.” She looked up just as the chicken - thing landed on her.

“Sir! The chicken just ate Buffy and is attacking the village!”

“Don’t worry. I’ll just use my orbiting space laser! All I have to do is aim it at us and fire! There we go. What? Oops.”

“Aauuggh!!!” they both screamed and hid behind a mirror. A huge laser beam

came down, hit the mirror, reflected and blew itself up. The flaming wreckage tumbled down straight into the chicken’s gaping mouth.

“Hoorah! Another day saved by Frankenstein!”

“Um, master?” piped up Igor.

“Yes?”

“The flaming wreckage also landed on the corner shop, so I’m afraid there will be no more chocolate.

“AWW!”

The End